Here is a cute drawing made by a secondary student:  slavery according to 13 yr old.

Yellow pants:  “I don’t have the right to suffer so much.”

Red pants: “I’m the one who calls the shots.” :::whapishhh:::

That is all.

After many days in pursuit of the wild Detroitonian, I have finally caught up with the most sought after personality in Lavapiés, Miss Melissa. She was charming a group of Senegalese gentlemen when I stumbled upon her and happened to have a few minutes to douse the flame of curiosity that was burning inside me. Do you want to know what I was just dying to know?

Kelly: What famous person do other people tell you that you most resemble?

Meli: Jenna Elfman, emphasis on the ‘Elf’.

Kelly: If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

Meli: Lucy and Desi’s second apartment.

Kelly: Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with?

Meli: Alberto. Hey baby, let’s share some O subscript 2, if you know what I mean….

Kelly: What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?  

Meli: Sister Mary Ann’s. Twenty-six Hail Marys.

Kelly: Where were you on September 11, 2001?

Meli: Mr. Rice’s class.

Kelly: Which of the four seasons do you most anticipate?

Meli: Dubai´s. Though I don’t know how the no-pork thing’s gonna fly.

Kelly: What’s your least favorite word?

Meli: Azberjain. It discouraged me from reading today’s whole entire paper .

Kelly: What do you think Victoria’s secret is?

Meli: Don’t care because the word ’secretion’ scares me too.

Kelly: What is one food you will never give up?

Meli: Blue Corn chips and Salsa.

Kelly: What’s your favorite tree?

Meli: Gotta love the dreaminess of the Sleeping Pillow, and the lingering smell of the Scotch Wine Tree you got for Christmas, long after it’s started to drop needles and get naked. But my fav-o is the one that provides me with feathery shade when I’m on the beach. Can’t think of the name at the mo. TOTAL calm.

Kelly:  If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?

Meli: “The Rite of Spring” premiere in Paris. Who, after witnessing that night, could claim that music DOESN’T make us crazy? Manson ain’t got nada on Stravinsky.

Kelly: Do you feel that children should be sheltered from unhappiness?

Meli: Happiness is relative. Within the context of each culture, community, family, value set, recollection of personal experiences, peace, intrinsic motivation, human rights, the realization of one’s interdependency on his or her environment …. what was the exact question again? Liberal jargon’s got me jumbled.

Kelly:  If you found a $100 what would you do with the money?

Meli: Try to buy some scalpies for the Muse Show this week, and then realize that 100 dollars is only worth 66.8 euro. So then I’d go to the bar.

I want to let everyone know that there will be a second voice on the blog; that of the lovely and talented Miss Melissa. She will be sharing some of her thoughts about Spanish culture, politics, literature, philosophy, festivities, travel… marshmellow cream and other deep, deep thoughts. An indepth profile on Miss Melis COMING SOON…

Kelly:  She draws really well.

Enrique*:  No she doesn’t. She is terrible. I want to jump out the window.

Kelly:  OK, then go. Jump out the window.

Enrique:  Ladies first.

*Enrique is one of my 15 year old students

Pros and cons to living on the first floor:

Pros:

• no elevator? no problem
• window serves as a television
• plants can be admired from the street
• there is always someone to talk to
• Michael Jackson karaoke on 2nd floor is amusing
• internet cafe below house gives us 50% discount

Cons:

• creeps standing across the street can look in
• due to aforementioned con, not advisable to walk around naked
• can smell dog poop from our couch, if there is any, that is 
• last weekend had a conversation with a guy while he took a piss in the street, 3 ft away

This Friday flamenco with a cute boy?

After four years of inching my way towards Lavapiés, I have finally made it! Toma ya! See kids? Dreams do come true if you get kicked out of enough apartments. But don’t worry if you get kicked out, because your very own little apartment in the immigrant neighborhood is just a slumlord away.  Here’s a nice shot of Lavapiés in all it’s glory:

Just kidding about the slumlord part. Our slumlord is super sweet and gives us aloe vera plants and sets of knives. Slumlord love! Oh, and our place isn’t a slum. Pictures coming soon…

I am going to try to start writing in this again. There are so many funny things that have been happening to me and I want to try to record some of them and share them with all of you, and also I am going to eat curry for 365 days and blog about that and see if I can get a book deal out of it. Just kidding…

So Halloween was two weeks ago and the kids at my school were all excited. The American assistants were free for one week to prepare a haunted house in the basement of the abandoned boarding school and it was super scary! We made about 882 students scream like girls, 756 grip each other in fear, 569 laugh, 367 call for their momma, 112 refuse to continue, 87 refuse to enter at all, 7 hit/push/swing at an assistant in costume and 1 cry.  It was like the greatest moment of my teaching history when I saw some of the boys who play football clinging to each other and shrieking. No really. I got extreme pleasure out of scaring the living crap out of my students. I didn’t even feel guilty about the girl who cried. Here are some pictures:

High points:

• chasing students down a dark hallway with a locked door at the end
• hiding behind curtains
• eating lots of Halloween candy
• fame
• taking a cat nap every day
• going to the Halloween store and spending other peoples money
• fog machines and strobe lights

Low points:

• clean up
• older students pillaging the candy box
• working on the weekend
• running into a wall in the dark and spraining my thumb
• fog machines and strobe lights

So, all in all, I must say that Halloween at Villalkor was a success. The kids talked about it for a whole week, which is like a record since they usually don’t remember anything for longer than a few minutes, maybe an hour.  I’m like, kind of a big deal at the school now. B… maybe C list celebrity status over there. Thanks for reading and I’ll update soon! Mwah hah hah haaaaa!

I’m in Chicago watching the pres. debate with Nate, Tom and Mirko. But you know what? I don’t even care. I don’t give a rats ass. And do you wanna know why?

This is why.

It’s so wrong. These dudes on the TV are yacking about some economic crisis and I’m goin ga ga over a $400 bag. People I AM A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY WE ARE 12 TRILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT.

Hi Madre! Sorry for not posting in a while. I’ve been all too consumed with EUROCOPA 2008 to take time out of my busy futbol watching schedule! Tonight we, er, Spain, won the Europe Cup against Germany.

photo borrowed from as.com

I so wanted to call each and every German exchange student we ever had and obnoxiously cheer into their voice mail box (Florian above all). My boyfriend, Iker Casillas, is fantastic. He’s super excited about winning and hardly had to do anything, Spain was playing so well. That’s good for me because he needs to save his energy for things like cleaning the house and rubbing my pies (pies = feet, duh!).

My other boyfriend (the Italian one) is bummed because last week they lost to Spain in overtime. Dang penalty kicks! So he had to seek refuge in his native country during the championship. Surely he and all his non-champion friends didn’t so much as peek at the TV all night and drowned their sorrows in fettuccine (who could blame them?) He’ll be home soon though. 

We are both getting so excited for the trip! My room is all packed away and in 2 days a French girl will come to sub-let for 3 months. Our new roommate Carolina is precious. She is from Colombia and seems to fit in perfectly with the three of us. Will post pictures of her soon. 

Nathan Buhr came to visit. He was wrapping up his European tour and running low on funds, so our plans to go to San Fermines (the running of the bulls) together are canceled. Another friend from college is passing  through Spain around that time, so I might still end up going. 

Well, tomorrow I have to work so better get off to bed! Iker won’t be home til morning anyway! Kisses! KB

P.S. Outside my window there is a group of people playing “We Are the Champions” on a huge ghettoblaster. I can hear it clear as day and I’m six stories up. I assume this will continue until day break. I’m not even exaggerating.

Hi Momma! I got a dress on-line from J. Crew for Erika’s wedding. I guess she like, wants me in it, or like, something. I’m glad that the only friend that has ever asked me to be in a wedding has really good taste, because now I’ll have not only a really expensive dress, but an actual wearable, really expensive dress. I wonder if some women go through their lives without ever being asked to be in a wedding? I can’t really think of anyone else I know who would ask me to do it. I’m actually hoping that no one else does because I’m not sure if I trust their brides maid dress judgment as much as I trust Erika’s (did I mention she let us choose from three? Now THAT’S a friend!) Anyway, here’s the dress. It’s so cute. And the color? Kelly green!

PS I know the dress that she’s going to wear but I’m not tellin’